By Jesse Budd, columnist
Well we’re all starting to get back to the swing of life. During summer break we, as students, had the opportunity to “jump out” of our swings, with a fun rush from flying thru the air and coming to a climatic crash to the ground. But now it’s time to jump back on, start pumping again, and work our way back up to our repetitive lives.
Some of you might not be quite there. Some of you might still be immature and are swinging on your stomachs. Which seemed like a good idea at first, but you soon realize that all your blood has rushed to your head, and you’re starting to feel sick.
Speaking of blood, I went to our schools annual blood drive this week and it reminded me of my unsuccessful experience at last year’s blood drive.
I don’t know why I want to get my blood out of me so bad; maybe it’s the high blood pressure. I always figured if someone has high blood pressure, shouldn’t the obvious remedy be to get some blood out of him or her? Relieve the pressure?
So I’m going thru the routine again, I fill out the form, prick my finger, and get to the guy that does the hocus pocus vein check, feeling it with his gloved hand. I’m not sure at all if this dude actually knows what he’s doing, but the white lab coat definitely gets my respect.
This guy could be just another shmo off the street; he looks about my age, but when he’s wearing the jacket — my life is in his hands. I don’t know what strenuous process he had to go thru to get to lab coat rank, but I’m pretty sure that anyone could get to lab coat status by the results of what happened to me… who is HE to judge my veins, when he walks imperfectly?
I think that I’m just hoping that magically my veins are going to get bigger or something, like I’m in denial or something. “I’ve got big veins! I can be cool too guys!”
The guy was skeptical, but sent me to the nurse to give it a shot. For some reason this lady felt confident that she could do it. She stuck the needle in and it felt good. She started up the machine and we ran into problems. It wasn’t sucking enough blood, so she grabs the next lab coat lady next to her and I’m starting to get déjà vu as she starts twisting the needle around and making it HURT instead.
“There’s the problem, he’s not feeling any pain yet!”
She couldn’t get it, so finally they call Mike over. At that point I’ve had enough. This is exactly how the last one went and the third guy always punctures the vein. So I threw in my towel.
But on the bright side… I still got the free t-shirt which I found a little funny. It reads, “TRUE Aggies bleed BLUE!” and it has some blue bull chasing a red “U” away. What are they trying to say? They’ve got freshman lined up on these beds trying to figure out where their loyalty belongs to?
“TELL ME OH BLOOD WHICH SCHOOL I BELONG TO!!!” the blood starts pouring into the bag, the nurse yells out, “WE GOT ANOTHER RED ONE!” the kid yells, “NOOOO!” as the student body president wheels him out of the room and pushes him down the stairs. What do they plan on happening when they found the kid that bleeds blue?
“YOUR KING! We have found the true blooded Aggie!” and everyone bows to the ground.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s cool to say you bleed blue, but when it’s a situation where you are undoubtedly going to see the blood…we all know what color is really going to come out. You’re just going to be crushing all the freshman’s dreams of ever becoming true Aggies.
“I’ll never be good enough to be a true aggie!!!”
“Just give up and QUIT while you’re ahead freshies, because you’re just going to fail anyway… YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU SUCK!!!!”